June 22, 2009

I went to India with absolutely no expectations. I'm convinced that's the best way to travel. I'm amazed at the situations I encountered, the amount I grew, and all the people so full of love that became my friends. This has been one of the best experiences in my life.

I haven't written for the past month because I had fallen in love with Sadhana Forest. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to have a life changing experience. To begin with, Sadhana Forest is a five-year-old project set to rebuild an almost extinct forest - the dry tropical evergreen forest - which is native to Sri Lanka and the south of India. The land in this part of Auroville was severely eroded when the project was started. Looked like the surface of Mars, with a tree here and there. It's so inspirational to see how green the land is already and to know that it's this way because of volunteers (a league that I became a part of and I'm so proud to think that I'm helping to push the project forward). The project isn't self-sustaining yet, because we only recently planted our garden - so we have to buy local produce. Sustainability is a main goal of Sadhana. Now, it takes me forever to go shopping because every item I pick up, I think about whether it promotes sustainability of the earth or not. I'm probably not much fun at parties because I talk about it way too much.

The daily schedule went as such: wake up around 5:30 (a person volunteers to wake everyone up by singing outside of their hut), 1st Work from 6:00 - 8:00, breakfast from 8:00 - 9:00, 2nd Work from 9:00 - 11:00, lunch at noon, dinner at 6:00. It was all really easy going. The other volunteers were fellow travelers from around the world, and all volunteers with special knowledge or talents were invited to have workshops throughout the week (I had a friendship bracelet making workshop). Good conversations were non-stop available. It was easy to make friends. Always easy to get away for a cup of iced coffee and a nutella crepe in Auroville. Weather was hot, but perfectly hot in my opinion. The positivity that was pumped out of this town and this project, I've never experienced before. It's seriously awe-inspiring. It was, if I'm remembering correctly, 150 rupees a day to stay there - which paid for three vegan meals a day. 150 rupees is, like, $3. So, you pay for your food, but housing is paid for by your volunteer work. We slept in huts, on mattresses and under mosquito nets. It was very open and airy and the nights were beautiful. Malaria isn't a problem in this area, so you don't have to worry about that. I learned how to live with germs. Now, I get weirded out by all the anti-bacterial things we have. I feel like they're counter-productive and just force super bacteria to produce. (See what I'm talking about - I get on these rants - you can't take me anywhere).

Now that I've returned, I haven't been experiencing the reverse culture shock I was expecting. Maybe it gets easier with each journey. When you return home from a life changing trip abroad, there's a conflict of identity. Identity is the collaboration of expectations all of your friends and family have of you. You are the roles that you play. When subtracted from your usual home, you have the opportunity to exist beyond expectations and it's an expectantly freeing feeling. You have the inkling that you're frolicking in a cloudy half-way real life, you encounter situations that are more entertaining, more romantic, more frightening, more inspirational than the best of films. I've had to ask myself, "Is this real? Am I in a dream?" and when I reassure myself I'm in reality - I don't know, it's just weird to realize life can be so amazing, so easily. I think this feeling of freedom from the usualities of life, creates a chronic traveler. I think I've developed into a chronic traveler.

I was just talking to an old friend from Portugal about her feelings after returning from a trip to Africa. She was feeling weird about not being able to follow a conversation with her friends because she felt like she vibrated at a different frequency. She's been studying to be a journalist, but now after a one week project helping children in Africa, she feels like her whole life has changed. Her desires and life plan have changed, and to be so easily changed scares her. It's a mix between a quarter-life crisis and reverse culture shock. About this quarter-life crisis plague of my generation - I have so many friends, like myself, that have graduated college and have no idea what they want to do with their lives. 'Married with children' is no longer the go-to lifestyle, but we're not exactly sure what to replace it with. It's a dangerously aged time to not know what to do with your life. I want to have an alternative lifestyle of living away from my credit score and the expectation of a house and kids. I would really enjoy finding a way to continue going around the world, helping out with meaningful projects and filling my elastic mind with new info.

I'm not exactly sure what do with the rest of my life. I'll have to leave that to a 'To be continued...' status. I can say with all certainty that I am the happiest I have ever been. Life continues to unfold itself to me to be absolutely gorgeous and profound. The whole thing blows me away sometimes. Even the crushingly sad times of death and hardship are strikingly profound and beautiful. About a third of my natural life is over with, and I couldn't be more happier with how it's played out. I just hope that I continue to do things that make me proud, and that I don't fall into a rut of possessions that make me forget about the true beauty of life and love.